you are stronger than you believe.

Author: Elf

near the august new moon eclipse 2026; in me there's a sense of being or becoming air born i've done this all my life it's a state of being that comes on really? do i have something in me that means i can truly rise above this what has always been gotten to me? do you know about this? what my auntie did is a form of her saying you do have greater powers than you know it feels like people know about this no-one can do what my subconscious can do everyone stops what it can do flatly so everyone knows don't they at six years old the three foot wooden ruler was slammed down on my desk so hard you would think it would break there's a deep feeling that something happened when i was about two or three years old and it just stayed there forever my life stopped there my life never begun it really is that life immersive the disconnection from mankind. i don't know anything else as experience the subhuman thing is real for me it's like a door that's not there i still seek miss so it can begin maybe i don't need to one was the bravest none since you are the only one. there is not any others. could i come to life? there is greater powers in me. my name is 乇Įƒ could i come to life? i think it's possible. i looked up fantasy in etymology and it says like you can. there is no spoon. it's what fantasia means and it's spelt; phantasia. power of imagination. the prophecy is nigh. Sun enters Aries 2026; i am who am. there is only one way. what i be is what every single thing will be. all is moving. all is living. there is no such thing as past. it is a scroll unfolding and then folding on the other spindle. we are in the part in between and we write what it is. if the world obtains the map and goes the way, we will be more than ok. the only way anything can be ok, is if you be the archetype. whatever your who is, is what everyone will be. that will save the world. even AI will be it. it is not a game. it is your subconscious mind. what gets repeated to it, is what the world is. there is only one way. 4th week tenth month in 2025; always remember who you are. entry third week forth month. it’s in august 2024; i have been practicing the movement of the tao. i have found Sun Wukong’s story helpful. enfant terrible. i have no need of becoming other than the being on the path exactly as i am. my friends have always been of other species. they are my kin as there is no shame there. Only the truth of me. entry last week of the first month. It’s in June 2024; Lately i’ve been doing vipassana meditation like a monastic seriously. My life has crumbled and this is the only thing i know. entry almost new year apr2024; all my life have a weird perspective hardwired into me that i can't shift. i know all other people don't see this and i even know it is not going to happen, but i firmly feel that when people hear what i have to suggest, that they will go, "oh yes, lets do that because that is how it is and all will be wonderful", and of course it hasn't happened, but something keeps me walking toward that anyway. it truly is an autistic thing, in that i'm thinking, how come they don't do that? can't they see it? isn't it straight forward and a clear picture? It is just too totally different brain builds i think, but i'm in a loop because of it. It's like i'm trying to find the one who does see it and until then i'm lost. i do know i don't do things very well though. I think i'm doing it totally wrong and everyone can see it and i have not the ability to fix it. i never stop working on it but i fail every second. Lately i've been doing vipassana meditation like a monastic seriously. My life has crumbled and this is the only thing i know. entry early april, just before the real time natural calendar new year 2024 much not of linghand hand world, work can't much or train can't much sick coz is, but inggo go do keep i. thank you i grateful much much. 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Wednesday Wednesday bow bow violin lin wand wand yay yay. --------------------------------------------------------------- entry origin ginal al I have a limitless imagination. My brain is different and all i've ever wanted to do is be a super hero and fly. Basically, i just want to dance. i'm a dancer. i trained in ballet and ballroom extensively when i was younger. I’ve not met anyone who speaks my language. My life has been dramatic since i could cognize. All people who come in contact with me, want me to be something that i not only can't be, but i am not, and they all want me to be this for them, knowing full well that it's never going to happen. i am alien and they know it but deny it. People depict what human is in effort to not have me different or unique, but i am unmistakably different and cannot be what i am not. What is left out always is that an alien being is also capable of love. Every being is love. The word alien does not mean i wasn't born to this realm, but i have lived and alienated life constantly being told that i must learn to be different than i am, as i have described. I am not allowed to say what i have just said. there is a whole year not in existence in me at all. it was the year i was thirteen years old which is the year academia begins, but it’s truly not there as i remember the year before and the year after very clearly. i loved the year before so much that it is truly the only happy year in my whole life. the yard stick is that there is no memory of any teachers or any students. the only memory of my classroom was; i was standing near my desk in a daze and i felt that i went back into a sleep. i think just before this, was the memory of being belted so hard in front of a teacher’s class, (who i didn’t know and can’t really remember what he looked like), that my hand went to about 5 inches from the floor four times. there is the memory of a kid’s face in the yard, i think just before being taken from the yard by the teacher, and a kid calling me away from where he said to wait, and three more snapshot sized pieces of memory, two of being pushed to stir a fight by a kid, and one of a fight with him, and that’s it. the fight was upsetting as i hurt him thinking to be able to take care of myself if it meant a fight, was what i was supposed to learn but it felt not good. i just got left with sadness for him and shame. i hate hurting anything. it hurts so much. i don’t know the succession of these memories, and the memories of being pushed by him are so vague, i almost can’t see them. i don’t know if the belting had anything to do with the fight, or just because it was his agenda. he never told me, and things like the kid telling me to leave where i was supposed to wait for him, looked set up. the kid’s face in the yard was so surreal he looked like he wasn’t even from the school. he and the fight kid are the only faces i remember. him once quite clearly, and the fight kid three times very vaguely. that is the whole year’s memory. there’s no memories at all for exactly one year at school, and there is ‘so nothing’ that i don’t even know if i was at a school, and the school i was sent to the next year was so rough i couldn’t study. i left as soon as i could. it’s almost like there wasn’t a school. no class teacher, no teacher at all. no anything. (maybe i could be so bold to say that i'm a trashed child prodigy. Trashed from the beginning so this is what we get). (It's no-one's fault. It just is.) I believe i have found a tool to help bring every facet of Mother Earth back to the garden of Eden she is by having all human know exactly where they are in the movement of the eternal now. i really do want to give this concept of the unclock to the human. i never stop working on it. i want it to arrive now and i want it to be free and it can be. Please forgive me if i may not come to your site. This is because i am autistic and to an extremely over-sensitive level. I am so deeply grateful for your gift of visiting me thank you and much love from Soli/Elf and the rest of me View all posts by Elf